i don't know why i even waste my time complaining about this shit- IT'S NOT LIKE *ANYONE* CARES!

so i spoke to my care coordinator about something and how i'm unable to drive came up, he HAD told me before that we could try to go around what the assessments said and now he says to me, "you didn't pass the assessments." i don't remember what else he said because i was so irritated with how he's changed his tone about helping me so i could drive again- i shouldn't really be surprised that he's changed his tone because he doesn't exactly seem like the kind of person i could depend on. i've went to courage kenny's behind-the-wheel driving program in the past at least THREE fucking times with the hope they'd actually help me get my driver's license again. even after i had attended there for at least 5 years- THEY STILL FAILED ME WITH THE COMMENT "NEEDS MORE THERAPY". courage kenny had facebook remove a bunch of the videos of me doing therapy so they could take part in GASLIGHTING me into believing i should go to therapy EVEN THOUGH I SPENT AT LEAST FIVE FUCKING YEARS DOING NOTHING TO PROGRESS MY ABILITY BECAUSE NO ONE CARED ENOUGH TO RESPONSIBLY ADVOCATE FOR ME- MAKING SURE I'M ACTUALLY MAKING PROGRESS SO I SEE RESULTS BECAUSE THEY ENJOYED THE IMAGE OF BEING A FAMILY MEMBER OF SOMEONE WHO'S HANDICAPPED (INSINUATING IT MADE THEM LOOK "CARING"). i've seen people MORE disabled than i am with their damn driver's licenses. so people are obviously taking advantage of the fact that no one gives a damn about me. and amanda wonders why i wanna move to the east coast- THEY HAVE MORE ACCESSIBLE AND AVAILABLE TRANSPORTATION. YOU ASSUME I'LL BE SATISFIED BEING A DISABLED BUM ON SOCIAL SECURITY DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO HELP ME DO EVERYTHING WHEN I AM CAPABLE OF DOING MORE FOR MYSELF THAN JUST DEPENDING ON PEOPLE WHO ONLY FUCKIN HELP ME WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT OR WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT AND/OR BENEFICIAL FOR THEM. i'm glad i see my psychologist tomorrow because this just irritates and depresses the fuck outta me. it makes me mad that no one cares to actually fucking help me because they assume i have this "better than nothin" attitude. GUESS WHAT DICKS? I REALIZE THAT SHIT WON'T GET ME ANYWHERE. IT'S THE REASON WHY I LIVED IN THE SUBSIDIZED SHITHOLE FOR SO LONG, ALLOWING OLD PERVERTS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME BECAUSE IT WAS BETTER THAN NOTHIN! if you assholes knew some of the shit i experienced- you'd be disgusted and it's YOUR fault for not checking to see if i was truly happy because IT DIDN'T AFFECT YOU. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ME THOUGH, SO I DON'T DESERVE THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT PEOPLE GET!